New Year’s resolutions are, well, not profoundly life altering. Have you ever heard a Nobel Prize winner or Poet Laureate or Congresswoman or supermodel say “I woke up on January 1st resolved to be, make, do, become…?” No. You haven’t. Probably. I’m not 100% sure since my fact checking staff consists of just me, and Mr. TGFRL if he says,”um, what is this?”

Anyway, I feel pretty confident that I’m right. What does work and what you do hear about it is “Faking it Till You Make it” in arts, politics, and all manner of pursuits. Be and thy shall become. Basically the “get rich or die tryin’”(Thank you, Mr.Cent) ideology. It’s better than the alternative which is to not try, not reach, not to at least attempt to move into the direction of your dreams and aspirations-even if there is some “make-believe” involved. This can have a High-Low quality of course, the High and the Low being relevant to just how meaningful the thing you are faking is. Pretending to be a socialite, community activist, political strategist versus pretending that you have oodles of hair or bee stung lips or cleavage for days. There are in between versions of well. Get yourself to the gym decked out in your gym shizzle and promise to do just 5 minutes. Guarantee you that 20 minutes later you have “faked” yourself into a full-fledged workout, or at least a workout. So you faked it a bit, and it paid off. This, my lovelies, is a thing. As anyone who has given birth and started to raise a child can testify to, that is some epic faking it till you make it. Believe.

Whenever I’m down or just not feeling my own Ciarology (The Philosophy of myself-Ciara-aka Ms.TGFRL) one of my ah-maze sidekicks (friends)literally bootcamps my brain back on track. “Fake it to you make it doll” my ever glass half full gal pals Zab and Laur will tell me. Essentially; get out of your self-defeating pity hole Baby, you are YOU!!” “OH, YES, I AM!” Suddenly the Eye of the Tiger (Rocky) song cues in my mind, and I’m feeling it – the place I can be - but have slipped out of. Usually, this works, and I am back. Then we start to talk about more important things than my lame, momentary, self-defeating, personal outlook. We get to the heart of “making it.” There are sales numbers to achieve, books to read, shows to green light, clients to tend to, kindergartens to get into and events to get dressed for.

Today’s “fake it till I make it” topic is about hair. Its seems low on the “hierarchy of needs” but really, there is a reason the term “bad hair day” exists. Do people walk around saying, “Ugh, I’m having a bad lip day or a bad belly day?” Um, not usually. Anyway, my hair stylist and I are on a rotating “unbookable” rut. So I’ve been out in no-woman’s land with not a bit of energy to create my signature Black Marilyn (Monroe) aesthetic that really reminds me of my own self-proclaimed, iconic persona. The person who doesn’t care what other people think, who approaches everything with a verve and positivity, who works toward balance…but with a huge dose of glamorous oomph.

So when Black Marilyn isn’t “accessible” on occasion, I get cagey. Like when you are waiting for some piece of jewelry you ALWAYS wear to get back from being repaired. You feel a bit naked. This is the downside of being a bejeweled and decorated creature, but I celebrate that. It is my expression of MY true self. Walking out of my house in a ponytail and plain Chapstick would be only an attempt to see what “that girl” is about. I am not really “that girl” – I adore her, but I am not her.  So my latest answer to Fake it Till I Make it (to my beloved stylist)? An amplified Prima Ballerina Bun…literally amping up my medium length hair with a little FAKE hair to create a really simple but chic hairstyle worthy of girl who is committed to her “Hello, I have arrived” style. Plus, ballerina buns create an aura of good posture, a palette for earrings, necklaces and for exposing those cheek bones. It is a vehicle for showing more of the face that I know and love, the face that is mine and real no matter what else I am “faking” on that particular day. I have included a shot of my tools below should you feel the need to get your bun on.

ponytail, Mr. TGFRL’s pomade, two sorts of pins, smoothing brush, ponytail holder

The process is self-explanatory. First put your  hair in a tight bun using an elastic, I like to smooth some Original Brillcreem borrowed from Mr. TGFRL. Then, attach the faux-pony tail (today I used one like this) around the mini-bun - mine has a mini-comb that helps with this. Wind and pin until you have achieved optimal shape – I do some pieces forward and some back. Use bobby pins to secure the base and the V-sort to secure strays or change volume. That’s it!

PS: I JUST set an appointment with my stylist, Marilyn will be IN the building as of Tuesday.

How do you fake it to you make it? Let us count the ways.

Prima Ballerina TGFRL signing out.

Until next time.