Thankfully this blog is Thank God For Red Lipstick, full of my various life and style musings and photos and not the New York Times, because as you probably have noticed I have been on another unplanned hiatus this month. However, I am here and I have news, and revelations, and pictures to share. But mostly a realization:
Live your life now.
You never know how long you have but you have the moment you are in. Last week I suddenly lost my ex fiancé to cancer, read heart breaking reports of actor Paul Walker dying in a car crash and joined to world in saying goodbye to the great Nelson Mandela. I was in Tahiti on an little islet off of Taha’a when all of this happened. Internet and cell service were spotty and suffice it to say paradise was a strange place to absorb all of this.
Mr. TGFRL had some work to do, I was hanging with Little Miss TGFRL (aka C-bomb) and helping how I could (mostly yelling to members of the crew “He’s over there” from a hammock. After the work days we were supposed to be on a short but amazing family vacation. Each day was different than I had imagined. Some sadder, some more beautiful than ever. Some moments I was ecstatic and others, exasperated beyond belief (customs with a wailing 5 year old? No, thank you) Some days I felt beautiful and strong while paddle boarding across the ocean, other days I felt weak and underwater even as I sat in a luxury overwater bungalow staring at my beautiful 5 year old daughter dancing with the backdrop of a pure aqua lagoon full of startlingly beautiful sea creatures. Life is a mystery that unravels day by day. In the end, we extended the trip, an attempt to reboot after the difficult news and numerous work complications. At trip’s end I spent 14 barely planned days on the Society Islands in the South Pacific.
The day my ex B died – about 3 days in- my husband daughter and I jumped off a boat and swam with sharks and sting rays in the middle of the cartoon-like crystal clear ocean. It was so scary and so life altering. The beauty and fear mixed with adrenaline and grief were unreal. I was so proud of my little daughter who snorkeled along side these mythic sharks with a sparkle of “yes I can” vibrating off her small bronzed body. Admittedly I was the least brave of the three of us, but I got in there, I looked a shark or three in the eye. I jumped in, knowing I was afraid but deciding that was not the important part.
Here is my takeaway. Live your dream. Take “Tahiti” or whatever you dream of OFF of your bucket list and put it ON your “Let’s Do It” list. Take the steps to live the life you want TODAY. And yes, there is the question of how to make this happen, but it starts by opening your eyes, choosing to go toward the big adventure, toward the experience that is dancing in your head but to also keep your eyes wide open every step along the way. Wake up to your life.
That is what I am going to try to remember. When the time comes for me to leave this earth in this form I want to have lived as much as possible, not waited for a time to begin. Live now.
I dedicate this to B.
Tahiti, PART I
Our Bungalow #9 at Le Taha’a Resort and Spa. Its on its own motu – Tahitian for islet. Or just call it heaven.
Swimming with sharks, huge sting rays and Daddy. This is the best vacation story when you are a 5 year old.
Little Miss TGFRL lounging beside the fish viewing window at the base of our bed… you can open it up and feed them. It’s so cool. That sounds like a 5 year old thing to say, but its true. There is another such window next to the bath tub.
I will return to this exact bungalow one day. So many thoughts and experiences in this spot.
Morning espresso, the most memorable espressos of my life.
Le Taha’a Island Resort and Spa, Poolside. The bar and Brenda my beloved bartender are to the left. Swim, sip, sit…..
Flowers Little Miss TGFRL collected for B’s memorial ceremony. My favorite on the motu.
More Tahiti posts to come including my Resort Styling Guide and why food lovers will go crazy for Tahiti.
“Na Na” (Goodbye) for now.